Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I cried and cried until I had no more tears. Then I realized that everything happens for a reason. This is a growing experience for me and is teaching me to completely put my life in the Lord's hands. I know he has a plan for me, and for Josh. If his plan is to let us be together forever once Josh gets home from his mission then that would be wonderful. But if he has a different idea in mind then that is what's best. The Lord knows best. He knows me better than I know myself and he will not forsake me. The other day I prayed long and hard for Josh. I prayed that he would be the best missionary he possibly could be, and that if I was destracting him he would have the courage and strength to do what he needed to, despite the fact that it may hurt me in the process. I knew I was not strong enough to do it, but I also knew that Josh wants to be the best missionary he can be, and he doesn't want anything to come between that. This needed to be done. I know it did. This is an answer to my prayer. I also prayed for myself, that I would be able to understand the reasoning behind it all, and that I would have comfort at this time. And believe it or not I have felt such a peace since yesterday. It didn't stop my heart from hurting, or missing Josh, but it was an all over comfort I know only the Lord can produce. I have faith in him that everything will work out in the end. I know this is for the best. The Lord and prophets council guys not to have girls waiting for them while they're on their missions, and now I know why. It takes a huge toll on both people. I KNOW the Lord loves me. And I KNOW he has a plan for me. And I know that if things are meant to be they will be. I have grown so much spiritually from this experience, I don't even know how to tell you. The Lord lives. He answers prayers. And he is always there when we need him. I love him so much, and I love you all as well. Thank you for your love and concern for me. And thank you for your prayers.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
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6 comments:
Andrea,
Indeed everything does happen for a reason. Hold close to the Lord, and he will open your eyes to perspectives you never before thought feasible. Know that, while I am 'anti-waiting' now and forever, I am still here for you. I've had my own share of painful mission experiences, and I know that the Lord uses these to build us one-thousand fold. You rock!
-tm3
Well my dear, i have already told you-i am so proud of you hun!!!! You are a strong lady! Know i am here for you! Text, e-mail, message, facebook. hahah. i am here for you like 10000000% I LOVE you!!!! And glad to hear you are in a good mood my love!!!!!
You're so cute! You are doing so well!! If you need anything let me know..and i'm in your ward :)
Andrea,
How blessed Elder Crandell is, and how blessed I feel as I read your testimony. Growth can be painful at times but what we gain is priceless. Your attitude and willingness to look to and trust in the Lord for support will see you through whatever challenges you may face. He knows you and loves you. Just as we do and just as Joshua does too.
Tisha
Andrea
I am so proud of you! You did the right thing. It's amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye. And there will be times that it hurts more than others. Just remember how you feel right now and know that he can do that whenever you need it, you just have to ask. You have seen how the Lord has taken care of the rest of your sisters and he loves you just as much. Just remember that what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead, but it also makes you stand up to other challenges and say "bring it on! I've been through worse than this!"
I LOVE YOU SISTER!!!
Cynthia
You are SUPER AWESOME! And I love you lots! thanks for being such a strong good example! and you are right everytihng will work out- it always does! God has amazing ways of allowing it to! You're super!
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